


Luck of the Draw

by FantasyBoudicca



Series: The Hand We're Dealt [3]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Crack, Multi, Not even kidding I'm just dumping in all the crap that is no longer canon or would no longer fit, Outtakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:09:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyBoudicca/pseuds/FantasyBoudicca
Summary: A dumping ground for crack, random ideas I might work on more later, outtakes, and so on.





	1. A Botched Takeover

The smoke pooling near the ceiling descended in a rushing column. Guests shrieked and scattered in all directions, and when the chaos cleared…

Count Lucio stood at the top of the stairs.

Mercedes and Melchior ran a giddy lap around him, licking at his hands, before racing down the stairs before him.

“Dear – FUCK!” Lucio’s pained scream could be heard throughout the ballroom as he fell down the stairs in a series of loud thuds and clanks, clutching his feet in agony before he was finally left at the bottom of the steps, howling out his pain for all to hear.

In the in-between, Lorelei laughed, cruel, realising exactly what had happened, while Asra’s eyes widened as he stared at Lucio.

“My feet!” Lucio wailed, drawing his dagger and hacking off his boots and socks. His feet were completely shattered and curled in on themselves, hanging limp and useless from his ankles like red sacks of meat and broken bones.

“Literally _drop dead_!” Lorelei laughed, pointing at Lucio. “Who’s the useless cripple _now_ , dickface?!”

“What the hell happened?” Julian asked, utterly bewildered. Asra looked between Lucio and where he could sense Lorelei was, his eyes huge as he put the pieces together. Lorelei’s disappearance, how he could sense her but not see her, Lucio’s revival, the deal he had made... “I don’t know. If I had to guess, though, he stole Lorelei’s body, but either forgot Lorelei has bound feet and needs special shoes and bindings for that, or didn’t manage to change it properly. I think he just experienced what happens when bound feet are suddenly unbound and forcibly flattened inside those boots of his, _while_ he’s standing on them.”

Julian paled impressively. “Gods. I almost pity the man.”

A slow, sadistic smile spread across Asra’s face. “I don’t.”

“I’ve had enough of this,” Nadia declared, huffing as she strode over to Lucio. Nadia glared down at the writhing man, nothing but contempt in her red eyes. “Pathetic. A girl half your age handles this better than you. Guards!”

A few guards immediately rushed to her side, staring in shock and horror at their former Count.

“Take this man to the dungeons. I want three guards on his cell at all times, all watching each other and the cell. No one is to follow his orders. No matter what he says, legally, the man he is impersonating has been dead for three years and is no longer the Count.” Their orders received, the guards obeyed, hauling the wailing, protesting Lucio between them down to the dungeons.

Nadia turned to the rest of the assembled party. “My apologies for the disruption. One of our illusionists appears to have overindulged in the wine. Rest assured, the situation is being resolved. Please! Enjoy the Masquerade! Portia.”

A bewildered Portia was soon at Nadia’s side. In a low whisper, she told Portia, “Have the kitchens spike all the drinks except water with vodka. Generously. And then call at least two toasts, one after another.”

A playful grin spread across Portia’s face behind her mask. “Yes Milady.”

“Thank you.” Nadia went back to find Asra, still standing exactly where she had left him with Julian and what was apparently Lorelei’s spirit. He stared blankly at her, still trying to process exactly what happened. In response, she raised a single, plucked eyebrow. “I trust you have a plan in place to restore Lorelei to her body?”

It seemed to snap him out of it, and instantly he was blinking rapidly, dredging up every bit of information he had ever picked up about possession and new bodies. “I think so. Yes, I do. Can I get hold of,” he took a moment, “water, salt, candles, and…”

He bit his lip. “And some of Lorelei’s clothes, anything that’s clean and would probably survive getting chewed on. And access to him – Lucio.”

Nadia turned to call out to a servant, sending them off with instructions to collect the components and deliver it to the dungeon where Lucio was held. “Is that all? Good. I’ll leave you to it. Send someone to find me if you need me – I have guests to manage.”

With a sigh bordering on a groan, Nadia disappeared into the crowd, instantly being bombarded with calls of “Countess! Countess!”

By the end of the night, Lorelei had her body back, and Lucio was once again dead, banished permanently to the afterlife.


	2. Lorelei by Sunday Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Sunday Cat in the The Arcana Facebook group for the beautiful lineart she did of Lorelei!

**Author's Note:**

> Written before the last few chapters were released and before I played the other routes and discovered that this didn't work according to canon.


End file.
